Washer

Whilst studying photography at university it struck me that there was an unspoken snigger connected to the self portrait, those who photographed themselves were deemed somehow vain or self obsessed; “oh her, she’s always photographing herself ”.

I wanted to confront the self-portrait, I felt uncomfortable about it, but I wanted to explore it because I knew I would find it challenging. I decided I would focus on one of the most personal things about myself. There seemed no point in just concentrating on my outer appearance. The self portrait had to be about my internal or “inner self”

When I was thirteen I was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, I was admitted to an adolescent unit for three months, and I struggled and worked hard to overcome my OCD throughout my teens and early twenties. I now have low level and very manageable OCD, and I hesitate to call it a “ mental Illness” as I believe it is now an integral part of my personality, something that isn’t as negative as most people would imagine it to be.

Despite increasing public awareness, there is still a stigma attached to mental illness, and because of this I used to try my hardest to hide my obsessive behaviour, often this was even more stressful than the illness, I felt embarrassed and abnormal, aware that my behaviour was strange but unable to stop it.

When I making this series I decided that I wanted to show my experience of obsessive-compulsive disorder through symbolism, I wanted to avoid any stereotypical depictions, and above all I wanted my images to be colourful and beautiful, to show that mental illness doesn’t necessarily have to be an unbeatable ogre.